Not Working. Still at 189 Pounds.

(THIS POST WAS WRITTEN FEB 3/09)

What is wrong with me? I keep failing! The last time I starved myself successfully, I struggle until the 3rd day. From there on in it’s smooth sailing. The first day, I get edgy. I have to constantly distract myself from thinking about food. If I don’t, I start to rationalize the idea of eating juuuust a teeny weeny bit. Which turns out into an all out binge-fest. So I have to keep myself crazy busy. 2nd day? Same thing. Super hard. 3rd day? I start to feel lighter, and really happy. And then it's really easy to look at food and go, "Aha, yeah right."

I’m going to Barbados! I neeed to get thin!

Today I already had 3 slices of left over pizza. And 2 glasses of Pepsi. Can’t have pizza without Pepsi >.>

So 500 calories from the Pepsi, and the pizza was from a mom & pop pizza place so their pizza’s nutritional value isn’t listed online. I’m gonna estimate that each slice was 250 calories each. (They were those skinny kind of slices.) So the Pepsi and pizza together equals 1250 calories each. That was my breakfast...

My Dad’s bringing home fries, but I vow not to eat them. I really won’t. I promise. Today I ran for 20 minutes, so that’s 140 calories I burned off. That leaves 1110 empty calories.

I will be doing my strength training today, I found my log.

And I remembered one more thing I learned last time I went Ana. It’s easier to start a fast during the night. So, if you have breakfast and lunch, and try like hell to avoid dinner (even if it means going to bed early), it’ll be easier the next morning to keep the fast going because you already have 12 hours of no eating under your belt.

I’m usually good at avoiding food throughout the day, and fail during dinner. But if I eat throughout the day, it’ll b easier to start my fast at dinner. I’m so cool. :)

Stay strong! Diet on!

Jenny