Still at 189 Pounds

(THIS POST WAS WRITTEN FEB 1/09)

Today is my first day of fasting. I’m calling it “A Journey of a Thousand Miles Starts With One Step” I know there is a phrase that sounds like that but I can’t remember it exactly, so I improvised.

There is some delicious food from last night that was calling to me, BUT I remembered my new blog. I prolly would have had 2 full servings on any other day. And that’s just the morning. But I’m not, so woot!

Some more background, hopefully some people will relate:

Previous Weight Loss: The highest I’ve even been is 205 pounds. I lost 8 pounds through starving for 1 ½ weeks. I wasn’t even trying. There was a medical emergency with my family this Summer and in the beginning, for about a week, we didn’t know whether it was going to get better or worse, so I was too scared to eat. (Everything’s absolutely fine now, btw, by the Grace of God.) Then I lost 8 pounds in November on purpose. I starved myself on purpose for a week. But then I was cooking an extra yummy dinner for my Dad at the end of that week and I faltered and stupidly thought “Just one day of cheating won’t hurt, I’ll just keep fasting tomorrow like today never happened.” Well, it’s been 2 months since I fasted so obviously getting back on the bandwagon was way, WAY harder than I thought. I’m at 189 pounds now.

When I’m eating normally, and when I say normally, I mean when I eat like a pig, cramming junk food into my mouth with 2nd/3rd servings of dinner, I don’t gain weight. I maintain it.

So all I have to do is starve myself for 3 months, go down to my ideal weight, and then I can start eating normally again. But since my metabolism will be shot, I’ll need to rev it up again to a healthy speed buy stuffing myself with fruits and veggies. And after 3 weeks of eating 4 times a day, nothing but apples/strawberries/pears/banana’s, I’ll go back to eating chips and fries (but in slightly lower portions because my body’s amount of minimum calories needed will be 2000 calories, instead of 2400, since my body mass will be smaller and will need few calories to carry out my bodily functions.)

Btw, I forgot to mention that I’ll be going to the gym starting Feb 4th. The fast I’m starting today and the strength training will start today to since all I need is dumbbells and a floor.
Today the “Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with One Step” fast begins. My goal is to go 1 week without touching food. Not even a bite of a croissant. Done. Over. Everytime I feel a craving, I’ll just look out the window and say swimsuit season is just around the corner. Do you want to spend ANOTHER Summer indoors because you’re too FAT to go outside?

I wanna be one of the pretty girls in short shorts eating ice cream and smiling with pure and utter contentment because half their brain isn’t preoccupied with making sure their gut is sucked in constantly..